Now that I’m quitting my job to see if I can actually discover God’s will for my life, I find myself confronted by so many people who are wondering why I am leaving. I try to explain to them that I want to teach, I want to help people, etc… The ironic thing is that these defenses aren’t really defenses at all; I am already doing many of these things within my job as well. I love working with my employees, watching them grow, see what they make of themselves, both career and personal. So then why do I really need to go?
It’s as simple as just one fact. I know that this is not God’s will for me. I might be doing a good work in this office. Many people might be benefitting. I might even be a good witness for God through my actions. However, I just know that God needs me to leave. There is no way anyone could understand this explanation unless they have gone through it themselves. What were the disciples thinking when they just dropped everything to follow him. They might have already been good people. They could have started a first century home group among the fishermen. They could have done so much good just where they were. But that is not what God needed them to do.
I am now realizing why the world would turn from you if you follow Christ. It makes so much sense to just stay where you are, do a marketplace ministry, be a great witness and servant, and all the while keep you and your family comfortable. I’ve been to enough funerals to here the eulogies that come from lives led in this way. I can just imagine what mine would be if I were to die in the next year or two. Not so flattering.
A friend of mine put it best when he asked, “Arun, what are you doing, man?” All I could tell him was, “I’ll let you know in a year.” The correct answer is more along the lines of, “I’ll let you know when God lets me know.” It’s not for me to know. God will let me know on a need to know basis. Somehow I think, the less I know the better. All I need to know is that I am doing his will because simply doing good is not good enough.